the internet and the destruction of interpersonal communication

This morning I was on the train, when I noticed the new advertisement for Dentyne ice gum. It was titled “make face time” and featured pictures of couples being intimate, hugging, laughing, and laying together. The captions used ‘internet lingo’ like “send friend request” “lol” and “accept friend request”. It hit me at that moment in time how much the Internet has changed the use of language and the way people intermingle. It’s obvious that in this day and age, the Internet has chain-reacted a lot of innovation and the way in which we communicate. Now it is able for someone to find his/her long lost sister in Peru within seconds. The traditional forms of communication are being pushed aside. A good hearty laugh has been easily mutated into “lmao”. Internet communication has its positives and negatives, both of which will be explained in this essay. I feel that as long as Internet communication remains secondary to that of its traditional, then no harm can be done.

Interpersonal communication differs from other forms of communication in that there are few participants involved, the interactants are in close physical proximity to each other, there are many sensory channels used, and feedback is immediate. An important point to note about the contextual definition is that it does not take into account the relationship between the interactants. Interpersonal communication is in general; the way people talk to one another and the levels of comfort ability they go through. When two strangers are first introduced they are not going to exchange their deepest darkest secrets or consider each other best friends. Interpersonal communication over time builds bonds. Through it trust is built. Trenholm argues that interpersonal communication goes through stages. She says, “Interpersonal communication goes beyond the cultural level of communication”. Cultural is just encountering such as meeting strangers. Sociological communication is being able to have a conversation without being personal. For example conversations between coworkers or in a school environment are considered sociological. Interpersonal is characterized as being spontaneous, direct and giving feedback.

Steve Duck discusses the interpersonal communication “filtering theory”. Duck believes that people reaffirm that they exist through communication. Basically, communicating with others helps one to develop an identity and through social reward define his or her existence. Duck describes filtering in four levels. The first is contact, the location in which people meet. The second is pre-interaction, also known as nonverbal communication. In this stage the filtering is based on appearance and gesturing. After this comes social reward. Its receiving gratification though communication. It’s what one gets out the conversation. Last but not least is compatibility. To many this is the most important. It’s when both obtain a social reward.

This is where the Internet takes over. The Internet has completely altered the ways of filtering and in turn has changed the way in which individuals communicate with each other. For one location is insignificant. With websites like myspace, eharmony, and match, people from all over the country can communicate. The second and probably biggest change is the altering of appearance. The Internet allows anyone to create the ideal persona. It’s extremely misleading to the eye. One can basically “appear” to be a 13 yr girl and in reality be a 50 yr old pervert. The scary part is that there is no way to change this. Programs like Photoshop make it very easy to alter pictures and can change everything down to skin complexion. The Internet also manipulates the 3rd filter, social reward. This is what the advertisement is describing. The social reward is no longer physical or “real” more so it’s arbitrary. The Internet depletes the emotion in communication both verbal and non-verbal. Lol is not the same are laughing so hard ones stomach hurts. The Internet simplifies the process of interpersonal communication. Unlike the traditional communication, the Internet filters all the complications out. Things can be deleted, forgotten and changed. Words can be unwritten and feeling can be uninvolved. Despite what many believe, the Internet allows isolation. A person no longer has to go out and make friends. There begins to be a shift in the definition of ego because on the Internet one has total control on how others perceive them.

I can, from experience, argue how much the Internet has change the way I make friends and the way I interact with others. The Internet is way easier medium to talk to others through but it is very impersonal, and I personally dislike it. Because of the Internet things like texting have become a new craze. I know fellow teenagers that have cell phones only for texting. Verbal communication is no longer a necessity to get a point across. I’m very curious as to what the next big thing will be in communication. It started with the written word and then the phone and now the Internet what next. I would hope that the Internet doesn’t take away from traditional interpersonal communication, because the fact that it’s interpersonal is important. Trust is built on interpersonal relationships. That’s also why it’s very hard to trust anything on the Internet. There is no bond between an individual and others on the Internet, at least not a real one. Let ‘s pray the Internet doesn’t take over what I value so much about human beings, communication.